Author: Joshua

  • Holy Zombies

    Karol: “At Mass, I heard a baby crying, and then I heard a zombie.”
    Papa: “It it’s unlikely that there were any zombies at Mass.”
    Karol: “Speaking of holy zombies…”

  • Fish for Breakfast

    Caecilia: “Can we get Captain D’s?”
    Karol: “NOT for BREAKFAST!”

  • Firsty

    Benedict: “I’m firsty for wine.”

  • No Muscles

    Papa: “Make a muscle.”

    Benedict: “I can’t do that. I don’t have one.”

    Papa (looking at Benedict’s wimpy arms): “This is readily apparent.”

  • Dangerous Pants

    “Take your pants off or you’ll hurt yourself!”

  • MacGuyver

    Margaret (while watching me adapt an ornament hook to hang an ornament without an eye): “Papa, you’re being just like MacGyver!”

  • Sick Day & Socks: Incompatible

    Caecilia: “Papa, I thought you were going to work.”

    Papa: “Not today, I’m sick.”

    Caecilia: “But you’re wearing socks!”

  • Toddler Commandment

    Benedict (to baby sister Scholastica while playing Legos): “A commandment is ‘not to break’!”

  • Stiff Lizard

    Karol: “I know something that doesn’t have a single drop off water in it: fire.”

    Papa: “Actually, that’s not true – fire produces water.”

    Karol: “What about a stiff lizard?”

  • Philosoraptor

    Margaret: “What’s a philosopher?”

    Mama: “Someone who thinks a lot.”

    Margaret: “Philosopher sounds like velociraptor.”