Author: Joshua

  • What It Should Be Called

    Caecilia: “Papa, remember those little maple syrup bottles you get at…um…Breakfast Barrel?”

  • Unfavorite Show

    Peter to Papa while watching Richard Scarry: “Dis is not your favorite show.”

  • MacGuyver’s Not Violent Enough For Us

    Margaret: “Why don’t we watch MacGuyver anymore?”

    Scholastica: “Because he doesn’t like guns.”

  • Trouble Skating

    Margaret: “I’ve been practicing skating backwards and I’m getting pretty good! I can even skate with one foot up. But if I put both feet up, I fall down.”

  • Stinky Bug

    Peter: “There’s a stinky bug!”

    Papa: “What does it smell like?”

    Peter: “The top head of a marshmallow that is burned.”

  • Not Nerby

    Scholastica, pointing to spelling book: “I don’t know what ‘not nerby’ means.”

    Papa, humorously confused: “What do you mean? Show me.” Looks at book. “What does that say?”

    Scholastica: “Oh…’nearby’”.

  • Stair Train

    Peter, upon seeing an escalator: “It’s a stair train!”

  • Water to Beer

    Peter: “Can I drink this water?”

    Papa: “Yes.”

    Peter: Drinks water, and with a concerned look, says “This is not water!”

    Papa: “What is it?”

    Peter: (long pause) “…beer.”

    (It was definitely NOT beer in the cup.)

  • Know Thyself

    Papa: “Benedict, why are you using a knife to open the milk?”

    Benedict: “It’s a new milk, and I can’t get the lid off.”

    Scholastica: “I can’t either, Benedict. It’s because we’re wimplings.”

  • Hockey Ball

    Peter: “I am playing a game with you, because I am kicking a hockey ball.”