facemyer.net

Author: Joshua

  • Piggies Amarket

    Scholastica: “Piggies amarket, piggies amarket, dis one even get nufeen, piggies amarket, wee wee wee home! Now udda buht! Now bingas!”

  • Overflew

    Benedict (indicating the top of his head): “All the food we had overflew my food part!”

  • Naked Cola

    Scholastica: “I naked!”
    Papa: “No, you’re Schola.”
    Scholastica: “No, I naked Cowa.”

  • Affection Mandate

    Benedict to Scholastica (crying because she doesn’t love him): “You have to like me.” 

  • Mr. Sneaky Guy

    Benedict (holding a lego man with all-black clothing): “This is Mr. Sneaky Guy. He sneaks in to houses at night…and gets a midnight snack!”

    “That’s why he’s called ‘Mr. Sneaky Guy’.”

  • Mail Order

    Benedict: “When UPS sends me some erplane parts, den I can build one and fly to Italy.”

  • Sock Tricks

    Benedict: (frustrated) “My udda sock is playing tricks on me!”

  • Sneak Candy

    Mama was on a trip and Papa was staying home for the day.
    Caecilia: “Are you going to work today?”
    Papa: “No.”
    Benedict: “Papa, if you went to work, we would just sneak candy.”

  • Uncomfortable Man

    Papa: “Caecilia, please get me a blanket so Scholastica can take a nap.”
    Caecilia: “I got a pillow and blanket.”
    Papa: “She doesn’t need a pillow.”
    Caecilia: “But you’re not a comfortable man!”

  • Prepping

    Benedict: “Papa, wook – I have pajama pants on under my pants.”

    Papa: “Why?”

    Benedict: “Since I don’t have to deal wif putting dem on when it’s night.”