Category: Things I never expected to say to my children

Papa to Norbert: “You do not need to take a rock to bed with you.”

Papa: “Where is my bowl of vodka?”

Papa to Peter: “Why is there a dried-out whole lemon in your bed?”

Papa: “Please tell Peter to stop killing people.”

Beth was disciplining some children, and I heard: “Unless you are smoking a pipe, you do not wear that to bed.”

Karol: “I see a shell from a painted egg. Apparently some people can’t wait forty days for Easter.”
Margaret: “Maybe some people don’t like Lent.”

Karol: “At Mass, I heard a baby crying, and then I heard a zombie.”
Papa: “It it’s unlikely that there were any zombies at Mass.”
Karol: “Speaking of holy zombies…”

“Take your pants off or you’ll hurt yourself!”

“Get her feet out of your mouth.”

Mama to Caecilia: “Don’t chew on St. Joseph!”