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Scholastica, pointing to spelling book: “I don’t know what ‘not nerby’ means.”

Papa, humorously confused: “What do you mean? Show me.” Looks at book. “What does that say?”

Scholastica: “Oh…’nearby’”.

Peter: “Can I drink this water?”

Papa: “Yes.”

Peter: Drinks water, and with a concerned look, says “This is not water!”

Papa: “What is it?”

Peter: (long pause) “…beer.”

(It was definitely NOT beer in the cup.)

Papa: “Benedict, why are you using a knife to open the milk?”

Benedict: “It’s a new milk, and I can’t get the lid off.”

Scholastica: “I can’t either, Benedict. It’s because we’re wimplings.”

Peter: “I am playing a game with you, because I am kicking a hockey ball.”

Peter: (points to beer bottle) “Can I have some of dat?”

Sibling: “No, you have to be 21.”

Peter: (irate) “NO! I am 23! I can have lime!”

(“Lime” translates to “wine”.)

Papa: “Every offspring is a hybrid of its parents. You’re a hybrid.”

Karol: “I’m German, Italian…Neanderthal…”

Peter (chanting): “Saint Jesus, pra-ay for us!”

Mama to a child: “Pick up those eyeballs.”